Darkness

The thing about the darkness is that its scary at first. You don't want to go there and if you know people that have been there without actually have been yourself, its terrifying. However, once you've stepped foot in the darkness and take their cold, dead hand, you start to realise something.

The darkness is warm and inviting. Its like an old friend you haven't seen in years. Its like a nice warm blanket on a cold winters night. Its comforting and relaxing. Almost like you can let go of everything you have ever thought about and just exist. The past doesn't exist anymore and neither does the future. You are just atoms, lying there, barley even thinking.

And that's the best part.

The silence, the emptiness, the call of the void.

Once you've had one taste you just cant help but go back for more. More quite, more alone, more rest. And once you go back once you want to go back again and again like a drug you just can't get enough of. Feelings are no longer a problem. They exit your body like a bat out of hell. You can spend days, months even years in the darkness and the best part is that no body knows. It hugs you and keeps you warm, always there, always inviting and always invisible.

Sometimes, and only sometimes, there will be a voice telling you there's more to life than this. That you are just existing when you could be living. You look around at the people living their lives around you. There's no one there who's life you'd rather have. Pointless.

Its like you want to do nothing but you want to do something.

Having to leave the darkness is too much some days. Why leave the pleasant snugness to walk into the blinding light? The light that shines and shows the darkness and everything around it. Why would you want to feel things? Why would you want to care about anything, ever? Why when its so peaceful in the dark abyss.

You look around you and you feel... Nothing.

...And yet, you feel everything.